Women Of The United States

Sometimes It amazes me how far we have come. It was not that long ago that things were very different for women in this country. It was perfectly acceptable that we be treated as substandard humans. Secondary to our men. What really scares me is where we are today. Never did I think that in 2016 the conversations about women's issues would be where they are. I feel like we have taken so many steps backwards. The level of unequal thinking is enough to make me want to scream. I see it everywhere, all of the time.

All presidential elections are important. However, this one is especially important. Trump/Pence is by far the scariest ticket I have seen. For a long time it has been socially unacceptable to treat us badly. To think of us as second class citizens. There were still people that felt that way, but it was not ok. Those people were ousted. Now, in 2016, it has become acceptable again. These two men, and others like them, are out loud and proud about it. They have made no bones about how they feel and what they will do to change our rights, as women, as people. The far right side has already been chipping away at our right and fighting against others. This must stop! We must make the right choice. We must vote. We must vote to keep Trump/Pence out!

Here are just a few things that changed not too long ago. I don't want to live in the world where we are substandard humans again. How about you?

1. Keep her job if she was pregnant.

Until the Pregnancy Discrimination Act in 1978, women could be fired from their workplace for being pregnant.

2. Report cases of sexual harassment in the workplace.

The first time that a court recognized sexual harassment in the workplace was in 1977 and it wasn’t until 1980 that sexual harassment was officially defined by the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission. 

3. Be acknowledged in the Boston Marathon.

Women could not don their running shoes until 1972!

4. Get a credit card.

Until the Equal Credit Opportunity Act in 1974, women were not able to apply for credit. In 1975, the first women’s bank was opened.

5. Refuse to have sex with her husband.

The mid 70s saw most states recognize marital rape and in 1993 it became criminalized in all 50 states. Nevertheless, marital rape is still often treated differently to other forms of rape in some states even today.

6. Compete as a boxer in the Olympics.

It wasn’t until the 2012 London Olympics that women could compete in boxing in the Olympics. This was marked with the amazing victory by Britain’s Nicola Adams.

7. Get a divorce with some degree of ease.

Before the No Fault Divorce law in 1969, spouses had to show the faults of the other party, such as adultery, and could easily be overturned by recrimination

8. Have a legal abortion in most states.

The Roe v. Wade case in 1973 protected a woman’s right to abortion until viability.

Child free?!?

My husband and I are planning to go visit his mother and family next weekend. They only live a few hours from us, but we do not get to do it very often between school, and work, and sharing a car. It is the same with my mom, who is also only a few hours away. Anyway, my nephew's birthday is next week and my sister-in-law decided she wanted her son to be able to spend his birthday with our boys. So she is going to drive down and take them back to their house for a few days. Then we will head up a few days later and join them for a few days to visit. She will be here on Tuesday to spend the night and then off they go. I will be CHILD FREE for 2 1/2 days!! My husband and I have never been child free for more than a few hours, and even that it has been years. In fact the last time we went out without a child was while I was pregnant with our second child, It was Valentines day. Our second child will be 7 next month! I have been thinking all week about what we could and would do while they are gone. Watch a movie that isn't animated? Go out for drinks maybe? Something we can'd and don't do with the kids? Oh who am I kidding? I will likely take a bath. Take a nap maybe. Clean my house and have it stay that way for more than a few hours. Yeah! I will probably do all of those things and maybe cook a nice dinner for the two of us. We can relax and be grown-ups! 

Mike Pence... Just As Scary

I almost do not know where to start. I think I am more afraid of Pence then I am of Trump. This man is already a part of our political system. He is helping to shape our laws. He has always drawn a hard line on abortion. I refuse to call him, or most others who claim this,  "pro-life" because they are no pro-life... they are pro-pregnancy. Once the child is born they don't give a crap about them. They don't want to feed them, or educate them, or care for them medically. I am, as I am sure you can tell by now, pro-choice. Although I do not know if I could make the choice to have an abortion, I am pro-choice. I think it is a very difficult, personal choice. The government has absolutely no right to make that choice for us. His remarks are outrageous! He acts like women are just mindless creatures driven by our sexuality. Incapable of making informed, intelligent choices. Here are a few parts of his statements......


 Pence continued, “we’ve got this situation now throughout different states where some lawmakers allow abortion under some circumstances like rape or when the fetus is diagnosed with an illness, and others just flat out prohibit it. And that’s bad for a number of reasons. First and foremost – we can’t have this kind of freedom of choice. This is bad, let’s be clear. And that’s part of the reason why I signed this bill, because I believe abortion, or I’m going to flat out call it murder, this murdering of children has to stop and it has to be prohibited in every state. So Indiana is just a step in the right direction.”

On top of his remarks about abortion, he added this little goodie... "we can't have this kind of freedom of choice". HUH?!? Isn't that what our country stands for?

Pence also tried to offer his opinion on what would have happened had he allowed rape victims to still have abortion. “First and foremost, because this is such a sensitive topic, let me just say that I sympathize with rape victims not just in America, but around the world. I can only imagine what it must be like to experience such trauma,” he said. “However, that does not justify murder, not even that justifies murdering a baby, not in my book. Because what would happen? We’d then have an epidemic of women claiming to have been raped just so they could have an abortion. And that has to be stopped at all cost.”

Donald Trump’s new running mate also said, “Basically, if I’d have said no on the bill, that would be just like giving out get-pregnant-without-fear cards, because at the end of the day, women could have unprotected sex without worrying about what they’d do in the event of pregnancy. And you know, it’s not supposed to be like that. That would be equal to me picking up a butcher’s knife and slicing people open in the middle of the street. That would be murder. And I’m not a murderer.”

“And it gets worse – when you get an abortion, you get several days off of work and whatnot to recover. And there are a lot of crazy people out there. What if women would go out and get raped on purpose just so they could get off work? I mean, Indiana’s economy is struggling as it is, and having thousands of women absent from their jobs would be horrific for the state, I’m telling you. I made the right call and that will be confirmed in the long run,” Pence concluded.

See here we are, mindless sexual women. Gee I feel like some time off of work... I know.. let me go get raped, hope I get pregnant, and then have an abortion JUST SO I CAN GET A FEW DAYS OFF OF WORK! I just can not believe that we have people in our government who think this way. I never thought In my lifetime I would see the abortion argument get this far again. I just don't even know what else to say right now. 

We Must Do Our Part....

"America, we have come so far. We have seen so much. But there is so much more to do. So tonight, let us ask ourselves -- if our children should live to see the next century; what change will they see? What progress will we have made?

This is our chance to answer that call. This is our moment."..... 

This is a quote from Obama during his acceptance speech in 2008. It still rings true today. So many things have happened during the course of this election year. t has been like an accident on the highway that you can't help but to stare at. I have never seen anything like it. There has been so much drama and craziness that it is almost hard to separate and talk about point by point. Trump is... well I have a difficult time describing him in a manor that seems in any way not bias. He is a fraud, a liar, a generally scary man. What scares me the most is that I have no idea who he really is and what he really believes in. He has spent this whole time saying whatever popped into his brain that he though would win over the group of people in front of him. And because we have such a large population of crazy people in this country he ended up with a following and here we are. Now for the other side... Bernie got so close and it would appear that he was cheated by our party. Am I surprised? No. However, wow it is bad. We have some serious corruption going on on the Dem side. Clinton is a very seasoned politician. She has been involved with some shady things throughout her career, and maybe still today. However, these are our choices. We are here now and there is no turning back. We must do our part and vote. If you do not stand and be heard then sit down and shut up! It can not be both. You can not sit in your living room complaining about our president when you didn't vote for one. I understand this is a tough one. You may not love either choice, but you must vote. You can not just give up and take your toys home because the situation sucks. Who is the better choice? I know who that is for me, Clinton. Trump CAN NOT become our next president. Really think about what that will look like for a moment, scary is what it looks like. Clinton can be a good leader and can continue along the path that is left for her. That is what we need. I understand you want to right the wrongs that have happened, but not voting is not the way to do it. Now is the time to pick a president. Please vote! Sitting down will not create change. 

Vote! It is your right as an American citizen, it is your duty, it is the task at hand. Vote!

Our First Year

My husband and I have been together since September of 2006. We lived in Florida, but we were not doing well financially after I had our first child. I was not working and it is expensive to live there. My husband is from Virginia and his parents are here. My mom and step-dad were in Florida, but he was also from Virginia. They decided to move to Virginia and was only about 45 minutes from my husbands family. It seemed a bit like fate that we also move to Virginia. So we packed up our one room apartment into our car and off we went!

We had a little money and figured we would be fine until my husband found a job. Ahh to be young and hopeful! So here we are, living with my mom and step-dad. I found out I was pregnant again a few weeks after we got there. We did not really plan. Something that I am generally obsessed with. What happened instead was four years of unemployment and living with my family and my husbands family. Then my husband found a job!! We were SO excited! We thought... this was it! We would finally be able to build a life here on our own with our children. However, we just did not have enough money. We would not have enough money to live on our own again until 3 promotions and almost 4 years later. It happened!

So now here we are. In our own home, with our own things, with our growing children! It is amazing. We have become new people, new parents, the people we always knew were in there. We went from agonizing over making a checkout line purchase because we could not afford it to being ok, even comfortable. We were able to give our son, and soon our other son, a birthday party!?! Who are we? We are now the people who throw birthday parties, buy a new piece of furniture that we need, have a pizza and movie night, and plant flowers in the front yard. A flat tire will no longer put us into financial ruin. It is amazing. We have never been in this position. It's great! So here's to our first year of freedom. Many more to come!!

Coffee, my coffee...

My Favorite Guys

Those are my babies! Well they are not so much babies anymore, but they are MY babies. I can not imagine my life without them. They are getting so big so fast. Sometimes I think I will blink my eyes and they will have moved out.

This is my husband. He is the most wonderful husband. I absolutely can not imagine life without him. I don't know what I did before him. We have been together almost 10 years now!! That blows me away. My love, my life, my soul mate. 

My New Normal

I have had bouts of anxiety for many years. It has always been, what I would now classify as, mild. I was on medication for awhile until I lost my insurance. That was a few years ago. Since then I have been just dealing with it and have done alright. Now over the past few months things have slowly started to change. I have begun having small panic attacks and my anxiety got so much worse. Yesterday I went out with my husband and kids to run a few errands and grocery shop. I was fine at the first store. Then came the next. By then the kids were starting to complain about being out and running errands. They were expecting a new toy they bought in the mail and wanted to be home for that. They were hungry. Their feet hurt..... Just typical kid stuff, but it quickly started to get me going. I started getting heart palpitations and shaky. I was short of breath. Then we grabbed something to eat. I thought maybe that would calm things down. They kids wouldn't be hungry anymore and we would have a chance to relax. No such luck. Then we go to the grocery store and they continue to complain and then start to entertain themselves. Again, just being kids. My mood continues to decline until we get home. By then I am just over it all, over the day. I put the food away and sit down. My husband starts talking to me and I start t cry. I cried for like a half hour. My husband calmed me down, and finally it was over.

OMG

This was the first time it had been that bad. Is this how it is now? Is this what my life is now? Trying to figure out how many errands my nerves can handle before having a panic attack. I can't do this. I have a house to run and two kids to raise. I don't have time for this. I need to figure out how to deal with this and move on.

Another baby....?

Up until last year my husband and I were not in the best position for several years. We made very little money and lived with family. We have two children who are now 8 and almost 7. They were both happy accidents. After my second child I got an IUD to make sure we did not have any more until we were ready to. We had always talked about having one more when the time was right. My husband was on the road to promotion at his job. When that happened we would be able to get back out on our own and would be financially stable. So we decided that when that happened we would try for another child.

Well things took longer than expected, as they usually do. I took a few years longer than we expected. So here we are now doing well and in our own home. Things are pretty good and we are finally stable, comfortable even. However, now we do not know if it is a good idea or not. Here are our issues: First off, we are older than we thought we would be when this happened. I am 34 and my husband will be 37 soon. I know lots of people have children into their 30's, but  we started aging it out and realized that we would be in our 50's when that child graduated high school! Our parents were in their 40's when they became grandparents. Second thing is that our boys are now 8 and almost 7 and in school. We are in a new chapter of parenting. We are so far removed from diapers, up all night, bottles, ect.. We can now do different things because we don't have a baby or toddler. We are not sure about going back to that. Third thing is money. We are finally at a point where a flat tire won't ruin us for months. I am worried that we will put ourselves back into a financial rut if we have another child. We are at a point where we can afford to do things with our children, we can throw them birthday parties. Is it fair to them. They just got used to our lifestyle as it is now, just for us to tighten it up? So here are our issues. When we talk about it these are the things that we think about. I am worried that today's logic will turn into tomorrow's regret. We have this whole list of cons, but then there is the thing on the other side that we just can not get past....

But we want to have another one!

Motivation... Or Not

I have such a motivation problem. Last year we moved to a new area. The circumstances where we lived before were very different. We lived with a house full of family. I had my own car. I was kind of like the house mom. I cooked, cleaned, took care of the kids for all. I also ran all of the house errands. I was constantly on the go. Errands to run, people to take or pick up from work, kids to doctors and the park, ect... Since we moved last August things have changed a lot. It has been mostly good changes. However, my car broke down when we moved and it was too expensive to fix so we had to let it go. It is now just us, which is great! However, without a car I have been stuck at home. It is not easy for me to keep our one car because my husbands schedule is always different and I have to try and keep the kids on their schedule. So I end up scheduling errands that I have to do around his schedule when he is home, and that is it. Most times I go days without leaving the house. I think that over time this is the reason that I have lost my motivation. Now I sit. A lot. Over this past year I went from being constantly on the go to someone who spends two hours convincing herself to get up and do chores in the house. There are so many thing I want to do here at home, and things I could be doing here at home, and here I sit. Every night when I lay down to go to bed I list out all the things I am going to do the next day... daily chores, a little deep cleaning, go through kids clothes for school, exercise, ect.. and then the next day I sit. Then go to bed feeling guilty and start all over again. What do I do? How do I fix this? The littlest things seem like too much work. I need to change this! Any suggestions? 

Liberal Redneck: $100-million Kentucky 'Ark' is ridiculous

 There are no words for how hysterical this man is! I love his videos! Expect to see more!

Our Children Are Watching! Vote Blue!

 Hillary may not be your favorite choice, but look at the alternative. I myself am on the fence about her. You may have been a Bernie supporter. I get it, but the alternative is Trump! Stop and think for a moment about what kind of world this will be if he becomes our next POTUS. My 8 year old even knows he is a bad choice. One of his close friends is an african american boy. He told me one day that he was worried that if Trump became president he would never see his friend again because Trump only likes white people. He said we would have to change the name of our country from "The United States Of America" to "The Whitest States Of America". They are watching, learning from us. Vote blue!

My Search....

Ok so I am adopted. I was adopted by my biological mother's twin sister. I knew I was adopted from a young age, but did not find out who my biological mother was until I was about 10 years old. I have not had a real relationship with her in many years. She has given birth to four other children that I know of. She kept only one, my brother. I am thankful that I do have a relationship with him. I have thought about my siblings for years. I also have three siblings from my biological father that I just found. I have now decided to try and look for my other siblings. I have very little information, but here it is.

The first two children would have been born between 1977-1981. The third child was born in 1985/86. That baby was a girl who was mixed (black/white). As far as I know they were all taken at birth. They were all born in Broward County Florida. My biological mother is white, Irish/German, 5'1, and born in 1962. Her last name at the time of the first two births would have been Donovan, and McCurter for the third. Any help or info you have would be great.

Also, I realized through all of this that this costs money. A lot of the registry site costs money, DNA through ancestry costs money, sibling DNA tests costs money. My husband and I do ok, but I do not have much extra money. So I created a gofundme page. I have not had much luck so far, but I am hopeful. If you could please go check it out and please SHARE it! Thanks

gofund.me/2cgbtxg

That is me as a little girl!

Welcoming myself to the neighborhood

Hello all. My name is Tara. I am 34 years old. My husband and I have been together for 10 years now and we have two boys aged 8 and almost 7. I am a stay at home mom with lot of opinions on lots of things. My husband and I talk ALL the time, but I should give him a break every once and awhile. So I thought I would bend your ear for awhile. I am sure a lot of my posts will be on kids and parenting and family life in general, but there will be other topics. Please feel free to join the conversation!